Getting Ready for the Sabbath
How do we manage everything so we can rest on the Sabbath?
The other day a Christian reader wrote that she is doing a study on the Sabbath. She loves the concept, but does not understand how she can incorporate it into her life. The preparations seem daunting.
I understand this. Long before I became an observant Jew, a devout Catholic friend said that she hated Sundays: they were her most difficult day of the week. Her husband expected a lavish breakfast instead of the regular cereal-and-fruit that fit his heart-healthy diet. Then she had to get the five children bathed and dressed in their Sunday best. This often involved ironing the girls’ church clothes. Then she had to shepherd everyone out the door in time for church. After church she rushed home to fix an elaborate Sunday dinner, to which the grandparents or other guests were usually invited. This included setting the table and supervising cleanup. By the time the guests had left in late afternoon, she was ready for a nap, but there was supper to fix first.
So it wasn’t really a surprise when my reader asked, What are Thursdays and Fridays like for you as you prepare for the Sabbath? Is it a race to accomplish everything that you might need for Saturday? How do families with kids do it?
There is a lot written about what the Jewish Sabbath is and how it is observed, but not so much about how we prepare for it. Here’s how I and people I have known do it.
Sabbath Prep: A Family Affair
The first thing to know is that preparation for the Sabbath is a family affair. If you’re in a Jewish neighborhood, hit the supermarket any Wednesday or Thursday evening and look for guys in black suits with fedoras, casually dressed guys with knit yarmulkes, or bearded guys sporting baseball caps who have no visible tattoos.[i],[ii] In many observant families, the men do the majority of the grocery shopping, and they do it in preparation for the Sabbath.
The men and children are also involved in cleaning. I have dropped over to my friend’s home Thursday evening to find her husband the rabbi wearing rubber gloves and pushing a mop around the tile-floored living/dining room.[iii] And my friend Sivan’s youngest, now just 7, has dusted for years and is now learning to mop.
Many children set the dinner table with the best china and glassware on Thursday evening or as soon as they get home from school on Fridays. Some families always use disposables instead of things that need to be washed; most families turn to the throw-aways occasionally.
Attention to Sunset Times
In a western country, Sabbath-observant people with a workday that ends at 5 pm need to arrange with the company or boss to leave early on Fridays, at least in the winter. Any early time on Friday must be worked another time during the week; those hours are not additional time off! People whose jobs involve life and death have leniencies that they discuss in advance with their rabbi.
I always arranged to leave at 3 pm, two hours early. To compensate, I had to come in a half-hour early, stay a half-hour late Mondays through Thursdays, or take a short lunch break. However the employee and boss arrange it, the hours must be made up.
When I did not have a car I arranged with another Sabbath-observer for a ride home on Fridays so the trip would take less time than public transportation.
In Israel, many people do not work at all on Fridays and others work only until noon or 1 pm, which is helpful.
Meal Prep
Like other working women in the USA, I did most of my Sabbath prep on Thursday night. Many of us worked 8-hour days, then stood on our feet in the kitchen until midnight finishing all the cooking. My friend Sivan, mother of four, worked full-time while completing a mostly-on-line graduate course. Because of her course schedule, she began preparing Wednesdays, a schedule which she has continued since completing the program.
Meal prep in many households includes the following:
An elaborate Friday night meal, often with other relatives or guests at the table;
Another elaborate Saturday noon meal, again often with guests;
A light “third meal” for supper Saturday evening;
Baking or buying Challah bread for the meals and some kind of pastry for Saturday morning’s simple continental breakfast.
This sounds much harder than it is because of a few factors.
We do not cook on the Sabbath. Therefore, a special requirement is that the food must hold up well on a heating tray or be served cold or at room temperature. There is no expectation that the food will be prepared immediately before serving, nor that it be plated exquisitely, as might be done for a formal dinner party.
Most people who cook for the Sabbath have a small repertoire of recipes that they repeat. They have chosen simple recipes that they know well and can prepare quickly.
Some Shabbat favorites can be made in quantity and frozen. Jewish chicken soup (served without vegetables) freezes beautifully and can stay hot with no degradation of quality. Kugels—baked casseroles with a firm texture that can be cut into squares for serving—are popular because they are tasty and stand up well to freezing. Most are fine reheated on a heating tray or served cold.
Some meat and chicken dishes can be prepared as early as Wednesday night, stored uncooked in the refrigerator, and baked (immediately after a woman arrives home) an hour or so before the Sabbath.
Shabbat noon meals often consist of a cholent (called hamin in Israel), a hot dish that cooks from early afternoon Friday until noon Saturday.[iv] This can easily be prepared Thursday and put in a slow-cooker or cooked on top of the stove Friday. Usually made of beans, potatoes or other root vegetables, meat or poultry, and seasonings, these are hearty dishes. In some families the cholent is the main dish; in others it is a side dish complemented with salad, kugel, meat, chicken, and sometimes cold cuts.
We get everything possible set up early. The heating tray might be taken out Thursday so that on Friday one only has to adjust its timer so that the food, already covered with tight foil lids, just needs to be set on it.
One friend writes the contents of every container on the foil cover with a marker and has a list that she posts on the refrigerator of what is for which meal. If she is late, someone else can easily put the correct food on the heating tray before the Sabbath starts.
Food that will not be cooked can be prepared on the Sabbath if it is done immediately before serving. Many Israeli families make salads just before the big Saturday noon meal.
I have included some of my favorite Sabbath recipes in the Appendix, and have linked to others there.
Is It A Race to Accomplish Everything?
The Sabbath (and holidays) begins at a specific time that changes weekly as the earth turns. When days are short, preparing for the Sabbath is a race. Occasionally one loses. I remember a couple of times that I was prevented from leaving work early enough on a Friday to catch my ride, had to take a bus, and arrived home without time to heat up my food. Living alone, once I made do with salad and a can of tuna. Another time, on Saturday morning after the synagogue service I told a friend what had happened. She invited me to share her family’s meal.
Those crazy times can be the rule when one begins observing the Sabbath. But the more one keeps it, the more the preparation becomes routine. Like anything else, Sabbath prep gets easier with practice.
If you are a non-Jew who wants to incorporate the restfulness of Shabbat into your life, it would probably make sense to choose an arbitrary time to start your Shabbat, such as 6 pm. If you are a Noahide[v] you might want to keep the Jewish time-dependent starting and ending times.
Children’s Activities
One important issue for non-Jewish children is activities. For traditionally Jewish children, this is a non-issue; nothing that does not fit within Sabbath observance is permitted. What is acceptable? Most board and card games; puzzles, building blocks, toy vehicles, and other toys that do not involve drawing, coloring (of any kind), cutting, gluing, using batteries or electricity, or anything else that makes a permanent change in something. God, the Creator, stopped work on the Sabbath, so we do not create.
For other children, and for Jewish children whose families are becoming observant, however, this can be a huge problem. Jewish culture, even among liberal Jews, has some distinctly Jewish values but also shares many values with others, as shown in the diagram below.
As you can see, these differences affect how the two cultures generally spend time. Most non-Jewish families wanting to incorporate the peace and rest of the Sabbath into their lives will need to find ways to accommodate the needs of children involved in sports and other activities that occur on Friday evenings and Saturdays.
Ending the Sabbath
Judaism has a very brief ceremony that formally ends the Sabbath. Depending on one’s community, this is done ten to 15 minutes after the stars become visible (assuming no clouds). The ceremony, called Havdalah, uses a cup of wine (or grape juice), spices, and a multi-wick candle. The wine is because we use wine to gladden the heart (Psalm 104:15), and because we’re going back to the mundane the heart needs to be gladdened. The spices are for a similar reason; on Shabbat we are given an extra soul, which leaves us when the Sabbath leaves, saddening us. With the many-wicked candle we recite the blessing, “Blessed art thou, Lord our God, who created the lights of fire.” This permits us to start using fire (and by extension electricity) again.
Then, after Havdalah, comes cleanup. Dishes need to be washed, sometimes mountains of them. Trash is taken out; kitchen and dining area floors washed or vacuumed. If a clear plastic cloth wasn’t used over a decorative one, it goes into the laundry. Shabbat clothes go into the laundry; early in the week they’ll probably be mended and ironed; those tasks cannot be done once the Sabbath begins. As with Sabbath prep, Sabbath cleanup is often a family affair.
The rhythm of the week in an observant Jewish household revolves around the Sabbath. It becomes second nature to begin preparations early in the week.
Answers to a few more questions
Most of our socializing is done on Shabbat. In many Israeli families, married children living far from their parents come home one Shabbat a month, or the parents might go to visit each married child on a schedule. Because of the kosher food laws it is uncommon to bring home-cooked food to friends’ homes. Many people follow the kosher laws very strictly but do not want to impose their standards on others; hence they have blanket rules not to eat food prepared in their homes or the homes of close relatives. Visitors often bring packaged food with the appropriate kosher symbol to friends, or a bottle of kosher wine, as a hostess gift.
Appendix
I am including here some classic Shabbat recipes. Sephardic/Mizrachi Jews (those from North Africa and the Middle East), as well as many Israelis from the Ashkenazi tradition, usually begin their Sabbath meals with salads—a lot of types of salads but not much of each. These might include hummus, tahini, Israeli salad (diced cucumber, red and green pepper, and tomato), red cabbage salad, any one or more type of coleslaw, a beet salad, a couple of eggplant salads, egg salad, and more. The Sephardim/Mizrachi usually follow this with a cooked fish dish, which is followed by the main course which is, on Shabbat day, the hamin.
An Ashkenazi family in the US often begins with gefilte fish, which is several types of fish chopped together and boiled. It is purchased in jars in the Jewish food section of large supermarkets or as a frozen loaf that needs to be cooked. Then Friday night they might serve chicken soup with or without matzo balls (kneidel), followed by meat or chicken, rice or potatoes, kugel, a tossed salad, and maybe another vegetable side dish. Saturday lunch might begin with gefilte fish and will be followed by meat or chicken, possibly kugel, and the cholent. There might or might not be another tossed salad.
As vegetarianism has increased, so have the types of foods changed in many homes, both to accommodate guests veggie family members, and just because so many vegetarian dishes are delicious and healthful.
A note about cholent/hamin: left-overs are often turned into soup for a quick mid-week meal, sometimes with fresh vegetables added.
Here are some traditional Shabbat recipes.
Kugels
New Mom Broccoli Kugel, a quick and easy vegetable side dish: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/212831/new-mom-broccoli-kugel/ .
Pareve[vi] Sweet Noodle Kugel, a classic kugel that some people enjoy as a side dish and also cold instead of coffee cake for Sabbath breakfast. https://www.leahcookskosher.com/show_recipe.php?id_recipe=165
Classic Potato Kugel, the one you’ve read about: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/the-nosher/classic-potato-kugel/#tasty-recipes-198575-jump-target
Butternut Squash Kugel¸ a unique, sweet kugel made from winter squash (even canned, unseasoned pumpkin puree works), best made a day in advance, but can be served hot or cold. Even kids who dislike winter squash will like this. https://www.chabad.org/recipes/recipe_cdo/aid/853688/jewish/Butternut-Squash-Kugel.htm
Jewish Chicken Soup
Classic Jewish Chicken Soup. A family recipe, taught by my father’s mother to my mother, who then taught me. If you do not want the fat, make this a day or two early, let the fat rise, and then skim it off. This soup is much tastier if made with the skin on the chicken. Be generous with the quantity of veggies used.
1 chicken, cut up; or chicken parts; or a pound or two of wings
A couple of carrots, peeled and cut in large chunks
(Zucchini/ summer squash, preferably without a lot of seeds, cut in chunks, optional)
A couple of stalks of celery, leaves are okay, in large chunks
An onion, peeled but left whole (cut-up onion makes for a cloudy soup)
A handful of fresh parsley or fresh dill, not chopped (remove before serving)
A couple of cloves of garlic, chopped.
(1 Tbsp. vinegar can be added with the vegetables to draw minerals from the bones, making a healthier broth.)
Put chicken in a pot. Cover generously with cold water. Bring to a rolling boil. Skim off the foam. When the foam mostly stops, throw in all the rest of the ingredients. Simmer until the chicken is very tender. Strain, discarding all the vegetables except the carrots and possibly the onion. Set aside a little chicken and put the rest away for another meal. Serve the soup with some shreds of chicken, cooked carrot and, if someone wants it, the onion.
You can make matzo balls (kneidel, see Kneidel Cholent recipe); cook for 45 minutes[i] in boiling salted water before adding to the soup. Or (sacrilege!) throw in some noodles or rice in the last few moments of cooking. Put the cooked soup on the heating tray before the Sabbath begins. Jewish law prohibits us from putting wet food on the heating tray after the Sabbath begins.
Note: The recipe on the matzo meal box usually says to boil for 20 minutes. In my experience, that makes what we called cannon-ball kneidel, which are great if you cannot afford a meal and need something that will digest very, very slowly. I like them light, which takes an additional 25 minutes of cook time.
Chicken and Beef Recipes for Shabbat
Chicken with Duck Sauce. The fastest chicken recipe I know. I always used Gold’s Duck Sauce, found in the Jewish food section in most supermarkets. There are several varieties, all excellent; any bottled sweet-and-sour sauces will work.
Cut-up chicken or chicken parts, skin on
Duck Sauce (sweet-and-sour). You could probably use BBQ sauce if you prefer.
Put the chicken in one layer in the bottom of a baking pan, skin-side up. Cover with the duck sauce. Bake at 375 deg. F (200 deg C) until done, about 35- 45 minutes. Cover the pan with foil and put on the heating tray until serving time.
Classic Shabbos Roast Chicken on the Bone. Can be dressed up or, when there’s no time, made extremely simply; always delicious. This author calls for a commercial spice blend; you can make your own combo of paprika, smoked paprika, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper, and a small pinch of hot pepper (cayenne or hot Moroccan paprika). https://mykitchenmystudio.com/shabbos-roast-chicken/
Pot Roast. Another recipe from my family.
A large shoulder roast or hunk of brisket
3-4 large onions, sliced thin
Vegetable oil, 1-2 Tbsp.
3-4 cloves of garlic, sliced thin
Salt & pepper to taste
Water
Brown the onions in hot oil in the pan until they are very dark but not burned. Push aside. Brown the meat on all sides in the same pan. Add the garlic. Add water less than half-way up the meat. Bring to a boil, turn down the heat, and cover the pan tightly. Simmer for three or four hours, adding water if needed, until the meat is very tender. Make Thursday and reheat for Friday night or serve Saturday for lunch. Makes excellent gravy to serve over rice, potatoes, or kasha (buckwheat groats).
Cholents/Hamin
Classic Cholent, the typical Ashkenazi dish for the Saturday noon meal, https://jamiegeller.com/recipes/classic-cholent/
Potatoes, Beans & Chickpeas Overnight Stew (Hamin), a typical North African/Middle Eastern hamin). I have never made this kind of cholent but my next-door neighbors, who invite me often, do. Like many people with fussy children and friends with food sensitivities, they separate the meat, potatoes, wheat and beans, cooking each in a slow-cooker-liner bag together in one pot, with the vegetables with the meat. https://www.shellyshumblekitchen.com/hamin/
Kneidel Cholent—a recipe I have had for about 30 years, origin lost in the mists of time. This can be cooked on top of the stove but I found a slow-cooker is best. It is a delicious one-pot-meal that can be eaten any time.
1 whole chicken small enough to fit in your pot with room to spare
1 cup barley or rice
½ cup white pea beans, soaked in cold water overnight
1 cup celery stalks, sliced
1 onion, quartered and then sliced crosswise to make smallish pieces
1 to 2 cloves garlic, minced or mashed
1 Tbsp. poultry seasoning OR mixture of dried parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Kneidel
¼ cup matzo meal or matzo ball mix (Most supermarkets have a section of Jewish foods.)
1 cup water
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp. salt
Pinch pepper
Make the kneidel dough:
If using matzo meal (NOT cake meal): Mix the beaten egg with the water. Add salt and pepper. Add the matzo meal and mix until smooth. Let it sit for at least 30 minutes so that the meal absorbs all the water. If using kneidel mix, follow the directions on the package.
Assemble the cholent:
Rinse the chicken inside and out. Dry the cavity. Rub the cavity with half of the herbs.
Stuff the cavity with the kneidel mixture. Do not fill more than halfway as the kneidel will swell. If you have left-over mixture, set aside.
Rub the rest of the herb mixture on and under the chicken skin.
Put the sliced onion, garlic, and celery on the bottom of your pan.
Put the stuffed chicken on top of the vegetables.
Drain the beans and mix with the rice or barley. Put this mixture around the chicken.
If you have any left-over kneidel mixture, roll it into walnut-sized balls and put it on the beans and grain.
With a regular pot, almost cover the chicken with water, bring to a boil, then turn the heat to a low simmer. Cover the pot, simmer for ¾ hour. Check the water level, it should be a little above the grain. Add water if necessary. Seal the pot tightly and put on the hot heating tray overnight.
With a slow cooker, fill about 1 inch above the grain. Put on low heat and cook overnight.
Note: The koshering process for meat and poultry includes salt, so I never add salt when cooking these. If you are using a non-kosher chicken you might want to add salt to these recipes.
[i] Davidson, B.S., Why Does Judaism Forbid Tattoos? https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/631046/jewish/Why-Does-Judaism-Forbid-Tattoos.htm, accessed July 3, 2024.
[ii] Levine, M., Judaism and Tattoos, https://aish.com/judaism-and-tattoos/, accessed July 3, 2024.
[iii] I met this couple my third week in Israel. They came over the same week to see my apartment. The rabbi, who was then the headmaster of a girls’ religious high school (now retired), took one look at my toilet, ran to the hardware store for supplies, and spent the next half-hour scrubbing the john with the heavy-duty, highly toxic cleaner needed to give it the first good cleaning it had had, I suspect, in many years.
[iv] There is evidence that the idea of old-fashioned Boston Baked Beans, which cook overnight, was brought back to New England by sea captains who traded in the Mediterranean with Jewish merchants who invited the to share a Sabbath day meal.
[v] See https://www.tantehannawrites.com/p/the-noahide-laws-part-1 and https://www.tantehannawrites.com/p/the-noahides-part-2 to learn about this old-new spiritual practice.
[vi] Pareve, also spelled parve, means a food that is neither meat/poultry nor dairy. Eggs come from chickens, but are considered neither meat nor dairy.
[vii] The recipe on the matzo meal box usually says to boil for 20 minutes. In my experience, that makes what we called cannon-ball kneidel, which are great if you cannot afford a meal and need something that will digest very, very slowly. I like them light, which takes an additional 25 minutes of cook time.
[viii] The koshering process for meat and poultry includes salt, so I never add salt when cooking these. If you are using a nonkosher chicken you might want to add salt to these recipes.
I highly enjoyed reading your article and look forward to trying one of your chicken recipes!